The Ideal Muslimah

The Ideal Muslimah

By Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi
Translated by Nasiruddin Al-Khattab and Revised by Ibrahim
M. Kunna and Abu Aya Sulaiman Abdus-Sabur

Copyright and published by the International Islâmic Publishing House (IIPH), Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in 1999.

Contents

Abbreviations, Symbols and Notes
Expectations
Chapter 1: The Muslim Woman and Her Rabb

The Believing Woman is Alert
She Worships Allah
She Regularly Prays Five Times a Day
She May Attend the Jama‘ah (Congregational) Prayer
She Attends ‘Eid Prayers
She Prays Sunnah and Nafil Prayers
She Performs Her Prayers Properly
She Pays Zakah on Her Wealth
She Fasts During the Day and Prays at Night in Ramadhan
She Observes Nafil Fasts
She Goes on Hajj to the Sacred House of Allah
She Goes for ‘Umrah
She is Obedient to the Commands of Allah
She Does Not Sit Alone With a “Stranger”
She Wears Correct Hijab (Also read: “The Requirements of Women’s Hijab in Accordance with the Qur‘an, the Authentic Sunnah and the Practice of the Pious Predecessors".)
She Avoids Mixing Freely With Men
She Does Not Shake Hands With a Non-Mahram Man
She Does Not Travel Except With a Mahram
She Accepts the Will and Decree of Allah
She Turns to Allah in Repentance
She Feels a Sense of Responsibility for the Members of Her Family
Her Main Concern is the Pleasure of Allah
She Understands the True Meaning of Being a Servant of Allah
She Works to Support the Religion of Allah
She is Distinguished by Her Islamic Character and True Religion
Her Loyalty is to Allah Alone
She Enjoins What is Good and Forbids What is Evil
She Often Reads the Qur’an
Chapter 2: The Muslim Woman and Her Own Self
Introduction

1 – Her Body
Moderation in Food and Drink
She Exercises Regularly
Her Body and Clothes are Clean
She Takes Care of her Mouth and Teeth
She Takes Care of Her Hair
Good Appearance
She Does Not Go to Extremes of Beautification or Make a Wanton Display of Herself

2 – Her Mind
She Takes Care of Her Mind by Pursuing Knowledge
What a Muslim Woman Needs to Know
Muslim Women’s Achievements in the Field of Knowledge
She is not Superstitious
She Never Stops Reading and Studying

3 – Her Soul
She Performs Acts of Worship Regularly and Purifies Her Soul
She Keeps Company with Righteous People and Joins Religious Gatherings
She Frequently Repeats Du‘as and Supplications Described in Ahadith
Chapter 3: The Muslim Woman and Her Parents
She Treats Them with Kindness and Respect (Birr)
She Recognizes Their Status and Knows Her Duties Towards Them
She is Kind and Respectful Towards Her Parents Even If They are not Muslims
She is Extremely Reluctant to Disobey Them
Her Mother Comes First, Then Her Father
She Treats Parents Kindly

Chapter 4: The Muslim Woman and Her Husband
Marriage in Islam
She Chooses a Good Husband
She is Obedient to Her Husband and Shows Him Respect
She Treats His Mother and Family with Kindness and Respect
She Endears Herself to her Husband and is Keen to Please Him
She Does not Disclose His Secrets
She Stands by Him and Offers Her Advice
She Encourages Him to Spend and Give Charity for the Sake of Allah
She Helps Him to Obey Allah (S.W.T.)
She Fills His Heart with Joy
She Makes Herself Beautiful for Him
She is Cheerful and Grateful when She Meets Him
She Shares His Joys and Sorrows
She Does not Look at Other Men
She Does not Describe Other Women to Him
She Tries to Create an Atmosphere of Peace and Tranquility for Him
She is Tolerant and Forgiving
She is Strong in Character and Wise
She is One of the Most Successful Wives
Chapter 5: The Muslim Woman and Her Children
Introduction
She Understands the Great Responsibility that She Has Towards Her Children
She Uses the Best Methods in Bringing Them up
She Demonstrates Her Love and Affection for Them
She treats her sons and daughters equally
She Does not Discriminate Between Sons and Daughters in Her Affection and Care
She Does not Pray Against her Children
She is Alert to Everything that May Have an Influence on Them
She Instils Good behavior and Attitudes in Them

Chapter 6: The Muslim Woman and Her Sons and Daughters-in-Law
A – Her Daughter-in-Law and Her Attitude Towards her Daughter-in-Law
She Knows how to Make a Good Choice in Selecting a Daughter-in-Law
She Knows Her Place
She Gives Advice but Does not Interfere in Their Private Life
She Respects Her and Treats Her Well
She is Wise and Fair in her Judgement of her Daughter- in-Law

B – Her Son-in-Law
Her Attitude Towards her Son-in-Law
She Knows How to Make a Good Choice in Selecting a Son-in-Law
She Respects and Honours Him
She Helps her Daughter to be a Good Wife to her Husband
She is Fair, and is Never Biased in Favor of Her Daughter
She Deals with Problems Wisely
Chapter 7: The Muslim Woman and Her Relatives
Islamic View of Kinship Ties
The Muslim Woman Upholds the Ties of Kinship According to the Teachings of Islam
She Maintains the Ties of Kinship Even if Her Relatives are not Muslims
She Fully Understands the Meaning of Upholding the Ties of Kinship
She Maintains the Ties of Kinship Even if Her Relatives Fail to Do So
Chapter 8: The Muslim Woman and Her neighbors
The Muslim Woman is Kind and Friendly Towards Her neighbors
She Adheres to the Islamic Teachings Regarding Good Treatment of neighbors
She Likes for Her neighbors What She Likes for Herself
She Treats Her neighbor in the Best Way that She Can
She Treats Her neighbor Well Even if They are Not Muslims
She Starts with the neighbor Whose Home is Closer to Her Own
The True Muslim Woman is the Best neighbor
Bad neighbors
The Bad neighbor is a Person Who is Deprived of the Blessing of Faith
The Bad neighbor is a Person Whose Good Deeds are Not Accepted
Her Good Treatment of Her neighbor is Enough
She Puts up with Her neighbor’s Mistakes and Bad Treatment
Chapter 9: The Muslim Woman and Her Friends and Sisters in Islam
She Loves Her Friends and Sisters for the Sake of Allah
The Status of Two Who Love One Another for the Sake of Allah
The Effect of Love for the Sake of Allah
She Does Not Forsake or Abandon Her Sister
She is Tolerant and Forgiving
She Meets Them with a Smiling Face
She is Sincere Towards Them
She is Faithful and Kind
She is Kind to Them
She Does not Gossip About Them
She Avoids Arguing with Them, Making Hurtful Jokes and Breaking Promises
She is Generous and Honours Her Sisters
She Prays for Her Sisters in Their Absence
Chapter 10: The Muslim Woman and Her Community/ Society

She Has a Good Attitude Towards Others and Treats Them Well
She is Truthful
She Avoids Giving False Statements
She Gives Sincere Advice
She Guides Others to Righteous Deeds
She Does Not Cheat, Deceive, or Stab in the Back
She Keeps Her Promises
She is Not a Hypocrite
She is Characterized by Shyness [Haya’]
She is Proud and Does Not Beg
She Does not Interfere in that which Does not Concern Her
She Refrains from Slandering the Honour of Others and Seeking Out Their Faults
She Does not Show Off or Boast
She is Fair in Her Judgements
She Does not Oppress or Mistreat Others
She is Fair Even to Those Whom She Does Not Like
She Does not Rejoice in the Misfortunes of Others
She Avoids Suspicion
She Refrains from Backbiting and Spreading and Spreading Malicious Gossip
She Avoids Cursing and Foul Language
She Does Not Make Fun of Anybody
She is Gentle and Kind Towards People
She is Compassionate and Merciful
She Strives for People’s Benefit and Seeks to Protect Them from Harm
She Helps to Alleviate the Burden of the Debtor
She is Generous
She Does Not Remind the Beneficiaries of Her Charity
She is Patient
She is Easy-Going and Does Not Bear Grudges
She is Easy on People, Not Hard
She is Not Envious
She Avoids Boasting and Seeking Fame
Her Speech is Not Exaggerated or Affected
She Has a Likeable Personality
She is Friendly and Likeable
She Keeps Secrets
She is of Cheerful Countenance
She is Lighthearted and Has a Sense of Humour
She Tries to Make People Happy
She is Not Over-Strict
She is Not Arrogant or Proud
She is Humble and Modest
She is Moderate with Regard to Her Clothing and Appearance
She Loves Noble Things and Always Aims High
She is Concerned About the Affairs of the Muslims
She Honours Her Guest
She Prefers Others Over Herself
She Checks Her Customs and Habits Against Islamic Standards
She Follows Islamic Manners in the Way She Eats and Drinks
Spreading the Greeting of Islam
She Does Not Enter a House Other Than Her Own without Permission
She Sits Wherever She Finds Room in a Gathering
She Does Not Converse Privately with Another Woman When a Third is Present
She Respects Elders and Distinguished People
She Does Not Look into Other People’s Houses
She Avoids Yawning in a Gathering as Much as She Can
She Follows Islamic Etiquette When She Sneezes
She Does Not Seek the Divorce of Another Woman so that She May Taker Her Place
She Chooses the Work that Suits Her Feminine Nature
She Does Not Imitate Men
She Calls People to the Truth
She Enjoins What is Good and Forbids What is Evil
She is Wise and Eloquent in Her Da‘wah
She Mixes with Righteous Women
She Strives to Reconcile Between Muslim Women
She Mixes with Other Women and Puts up with Their Insults
She Repays Favours and is Grateful for Them
She Visits the Sick
She Does Not Wail Over the Dead
She Does Not Attend Funerals

Conclusion

“Do not marry Unbelieving woman until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe. A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever. Even Though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness. And makes His Signs Clear to mankind: that they may receive admonition.”
(Qur’an, 2:221)

“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may take away pare of the dower you have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity if you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (Qur‘an, 4:19)

Abu Hurairah narrated that Allah ’s Messenger (s.a.w.s.) said, “Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib. And the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion. So, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely.”
(Bukhari Vol. 4, Hadith 548)