Wednesday, 25 August 2010

They did not benefit - 005

I remember once receiving a message on my mobile phone
which read: “Dear Shaykh, what is the ruling on suicide?”
I called the sender to find a very young man on the other
end of the line. I said, “I am sorry, I didn’t understand your question.
Can you please repeat your question?”
He said with a grieving voice, “The question is clear. What is
the ruling on suicide?”
I decided to surprise him by saying in response something
unexpected, so I said, “It is recommended!”
He screamed, “What?!”
I said, “How about if we discuss the best way for you to do
it?”
The young man fell silent. I said to him, “OK. Why do you
want to commit suicide?”
He said, “Because, I can’t find work. People do not love me.
In fact, I am an utter failure...”, and thus he began to relate to me
his long story in order to prove that he had failed to develop his
interpersonal skills and was unsuccessful in utilising his talents.
This is a problem with many people. Why do some of us feel
inferior? Why do we look at those at the peak of the mountain
while thinking of ourselves as unworthy of reaching that peak as
they have, or even climbing it as they did?
The one frightened of climbing mountains
forever lives in the ditches
Do you wish to know who will not benefit from this book,
or any other similar book, for that matter? It is the unfortunate
one who surrenders to his own errors and becomes satisfied
with his limited skills, and says, “This is my nature. I have become
too used to it now; I cannot change my ways. Everyone knows
this is how I am. I can never speak like Khalid does, or have a
cheerful countenance like Ahmad has, or be universally loved the
way Ziyad is. That would be impossible.”
I once sat with a very old man in a public gathering. Most
of those present were people with the usual skills and abilities.
The old man was busy speaking to whoever was sitting next to
him. He did not stand out in the crowd for any reason, except by
virtue of his old age.
I delivered a lecture and during it mentioned a verdict given
by the eminent Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Aziz bin Baz. When I finished, the
old man said to me with pride, “Shaykh Ibn Baz and I were colleagues.
We used to study together in a mosque under Shaykh
Muhammad bin Ibrahim, about forty years ago.”
I turned around to look at him and noticed that he seemed
very happy to share this information with me. He was delighted
to have accompanied a successful man once in his life. I said to
myself, “Poor man! Why did you not become as successful as Ibn
Baz? If you knew the way to success, why did you not pursue it?
Why is it that when Ibn Baz passes away, people cry for him from
the pulpits, mihrabs, and institutes, and various nations grieve
over the loss; yet, when your death comes, perhaps, nobody
would shed a single tear, except out of kindness or custom!”
We all may say at some time or another, “We knew so-andso
and we sat with so-and-so.” But this is nothing to be proud of.
What one can be proud of is to scale the peak as they did.
Be brave and from now on be determined to utilise all the
abilities you possess. Be successful. Replace the frown on your
face with a smile, depression with cheerfulness, miserliness with
generosity, and anger with perseverance. Turn your calamities
into occasions of joy and your faith into a weapon!
Enjoy your life, for it is brief and there is no time in it for
anguish. As for how to do this, then this is the reason for my
writing this book. So bear with me until the end, with Allah’s
permission.
You will bear with us if...
You are brave enough to be determined and persistent on
the development of your interpersonal skills, and if you are willing
to take advantage of your abilities and talents.

Introduction - 004

All praise is due to Allah. May Allah’s peace and blessings be
upon the one after whom there is no other prophet.
As a seventeen year old, I came across a book called, ‘How
to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie, which I
found to be quite excellent and which I subsequently read several
times. The author suggested that one should read the book
once a month, which is exactly what I did. I began to apply its
principles when dealing with others and witnessed amazing results.
Carnegie would often mention a principle and then cite various
examples of this by way of incidents related to prominent
figures, such as Roosevelt, Lincoln, Joseph, and so on.
I contemplated and realised that the author’s only goal was
to attain worldly happiness. What if he were to have known Islam
and the etiquettes it teaches? He would surely have achieved
eternal as well as ephemeral happiness! How about if he were to
have turned his wonderful interpersonal skills into worship, with
which he would have drawn closer to Allah? When I later discovered
that Carnegie had committed suicide, I knew for certain
that his book, despite its merits, had not benefitted him.
I then began to search our own history and discovered that
the life of Allah’s Messenger , his Companions, and anecdotes
of some of the prominent men of this ummah are more than
enough for us to learn lessons from. From then on, I began to author
this book concerning the art of dealing with others. Hence,
this book is not the product of a month or a year’s toil. Rather,
it is the result of twenty years of serious study.
Although Allah has blessed me with the ability to have produced
twenty books so far, some of which have been printed
in their millions, I nevertheless believe that the most beloved,
precious and beneficial of all of them to me is this book, which I
wrote with ink blended with my blood; I poured out my soul and
squeezed out my memories as I wrote these lines.
I have written these words from the very depths of my
heart so it may penetrate the heart of the reader, and would
be delighted to learn that he or she has indeed implemented
its teachings, experienced an improvement in his or her skills,
and therefore actually began enjoying life. If he or she were to
then thankfully write a message expressing his or her views and
feelings honestly and send it to me via email or SMS, I would be
grateful for this kindness and remember to pray for him or her
in their absence.
I pray to Allah that the reader benefits from these pages, and
that He makes my efforts purely for His sake.
Written by the one who is always praying for what is best
for you.
Dr. Muhammad bin ‘Abd al-Rahman al-‘Arifi

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Publisher’s Foreword - 003

It so happened that in the year 2007, I was in the city of the

Prophet . It has been my old habit that whenever I travel to

a city, I always make it a point to visit all its bookstores. When

it comes to books, the city of Madinah is in its own league. In

the bookstores of Madinah, one is bound to come across all

the newly published literature − and shopping for books is, of

course, my favourite pastime. The staff who work at most of the

bookstores near the Prophet’s Mosque know me on a personal

basis, as a large number of Darussalam’s publications are available

at these stores.

One day, when I was visiting one of these bookstores, I looked

at the shelves and noticed a book called, ‘Enjoy Your Life’. Just as

I was about to pick it up, Abu ‘Abdullah greeted me, hugged me,

and asked, ‘When did you arrive? How long are you here for?’

Meanwhile, I reached out for the book… Abu ‘Abdullah, who is

originally from Yemen, has been involved in the book market for

a long time. He is one of the many Darussalam distributors. He

noticed the book in my hand and said, ‘This book is excellent.

If you were to publish its translation, it would be considered a

valuable addition to the international Islamic book collection.’

He continued as he held my hand, ‘This book has made a record

number of sales.’

Some time later, in my hotel room, I began reading the book.

As I continued reading, I became more and more captivated by

it. There is no doubt that the subject of the book itself was the

thing that most interested me.

Solutions to all the problems of the Muslim nation are present

in the life of Allah’s Messenger . His life is certainly an example

for us to follow and a model for us to refer to at all times. No

matter what problem arises in our lives, if we look to the Prophet’s

Seerah for a solution, we will surely find it.What makes this

book outstanding is that it deals with our social problems in light

of the Prophetic lifestyle. The work is filled with incidents from

the Seerah, Islamic history, and the author’s own experiences.

By reading this book and implementing it practically, all of us can

make our lives more enjoyable and more tranquil.

This book includes remedies for despondency and numerous

tips on how to keep worries and stress at bay. The author of

this book, Dr. Muhammad bin ‘Abd ar-Rahman al-‘Arifi is a well

known scholar and lecturer from Saudi Arabia. His audiences are

left mesmerised during his lectures as he has such a unique way

of speaking that even us, the non-Arabs, are enchanted by his

words. A visit to any of the Islamic audiocassette shops in this

land gives proof to the popularity of this talented lecturer, and a

single hearing of any of his lectures guarantees addiction!

When I returned to Riyadh from Madinah, I requested one of

our Egyptian Darussalam associates, Muhammad Shakir Qadhi,

to establish contact with Dr. Al-‘Arifi and to request permission

for the translation of his book. After a few days, we managed to

establish contact with Dr. Al-‘Arifi. Fortunately, for us, he was

already familiar with Darussalam. As he said himself, most of the

books he takes on his international travels are of Darussalam

publications. It is always easier to work towards an agreement

if there is preceding familiarity. We invited Dr. Al-‘Arifi over to

Darussalam’s headquarters for a visit, and he gladly accepted the

invitation. Thus, we had the pleasure of his company.

I found him to be just as handsome and immaculate as are

his works and lectures. He has a unique and charming character

and a very humble personality. I know from my experience

with people in the Islamic world, that the more famous and well

respected a person becomes, the more modest and noble is his

behaviour. Dr. Al-‘Arifi signed the contract with Darussalam and

then excused himself, saying he was in a hurry and that he would

return soon to discuss further details.

After a couple of weeks or so, as I was travelling once again to

Madinah, I coincidently noticed Dr. Al-‘Arifi seated on the same

plane. As the seat besides him was empty, we had the opportunity

to sit together and familiarise ourselves with each other

even more. We spoke at length and felt closer to one another. A

few days later, he returned to Darussalam and gave us a number

of new suggestions. We introduced him to some of our projects,

and it was then decided that Darussalam would translate his

books into various languages.

He explained how his book, ‘Enjoy Your Life’ is in reality a

summary of his entire life experience. He spent a considerable

amount of time authoring this book. There is no doubt that he

wrote this work from the very depths of his heart, and one really

must read it to realise and acknowledge the beauty of it. This

book was published in Arabic in Sha’ban 1428AH, corresponding

to August 2007, and within the span of one year, it had sold

100,000 copies.

As mentioned previously, Dr. Muhammad al-‘Arifi is indigenously

from Saudi Arabia. He is from the famous Arab tribe

known as Banu Khalid (Banu Makhzum) − it goes without mentioning

that Banu Khalid are the descendants of the famous soldier,

Mujahid and Companion of the Prophet, Khalid bin al-Walid

– may Allah be pleased with him. Dr. Muhammad bin ‘Abd ar-Rahman

al-‘Arifi was born in the year 1970. He graduated from Saudi

universities where he acquired his PhD. The title of his PhD research

thesis was “Ara’ Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyya fi al-Sufiyya

– Jam’ wa Dirasah” (The Views of Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah

on Sufism – a Compilation and Study).

Currently, he is a founding and dignitary member of various

Da’wah organisations, as well as being a member of their advisory

committees. He is also a member of the advisory board for many

international organisations. Aside from being a visiting professor

in various Saudi and foreign universities, he is also a professor

in King Saud University of Riyadh. He has been delivering Friday

sermons for over twenty years in different mosques in Saudi

Arabia. Currently, he delivers his Friday sermons in al-Bawaardi

mosque, which is a major mosque located in the south of Riyadh.

Every Friday, so many people attend, that it is impossible to find

a parking space anywhere in the vicinity of the mosque. Once I

had the opportunity of praying the Friday prayer behind Dr. Al

‘Arifi.We arrived at the mosque very early, but despite that, we

had to park very far away. The ground floor of the mosque was

fully occupied, so we went up to the first floor where we were

able to find a place to sit. Soon afterwards, the first floor also

became congested with worshippers. Dr. Muhammad al-‘Arifi is

an amazing orator. He was fortunate enough to be a student of

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Aziz bin Baz for fifteen to sixteen years, and from

whom he learnt Tafseer and Fiqh. For eight years, he took lessons

from Dr. ‘Abdullah al-Jibrin in Tawheed. His other teachers

include, Shaykh ‘Abdullah bin Qu’ud, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman bin

Nasir al-Barrak and various other scholars. His connections with

the scholars of Madinah go back very far. During his days as a student

and thereafter, he learnt Fiqh from those scholars. He has

memorised the Qur’an and is known for his fine recitation. He

takes a special interest in Hadeeth literature and has received

licences for the chains of transmission for various Hadeeth texts

from a number of scholars.

More than twenty of his works in Arabic have been published

and distributed in nearly a million copies. His books, which are

often published in four colours, are attractive and pleasing to

the eye, and available at low-cost. It is because his books deal

with issues affecting the lives of everyday people, that they are

acclaimed and appreciated by all. Many well-wishers make his

books their choice for their donations and free distributions.

The following is a list of some of the works of Dr. Muhammad

al-‘Arifi:

- A work on Tawheed called Irkab Ma’ana, an excellent work

of which 400,000 copies have been published.

- A work on Da’wah to Allah, called Hal Tabhath ‘an Wadhifa,

of which 150,000 copies have been published.

- Innaha Malikah, in 150,000 copies.

- Fi Batn al-Hut, in 150,000 copies.

- A work on the topic of worship in 100,000 copies.

- A work on the topic of Hijaab called Sarkha fi Mat’am al-

Jami’a, in 150,000 copies.

- Rihla Ila al-Sama’ with 150,000 copies published and sold.

- A compilation of counselling to doctors and patients called

‘Ashiq fi Ghurfat al-‘Amaliyat in 70,000 copies.

- A pamphlet called Adhkar al-Muslim al-Yawmiyyah, of which

20 million copies have been published within only three years.

Many of Dr. al-‘Arifi’s lectures are available on the internet

without charge; he also writes columns and essays for various

newspapers and magazines and has appeared on a number of

Arabic satellite television channels.

The administration of Darussalam hopes, in the very near future,

to translate into different languages and publish the various

works of Dr. Al-‘Arifi while maintaining a high literary standard,

Allah willing.

I would like to thank our brothers Saleem Beg and Nasim

Chowdhury for translating and editing this work respectively.

We pray to Allah that He grants the author, the translator and

the editor good health and long life, and that He blesses their

knowledge and actions. We would be extremely delighted to

receive any feedback or suggestions from our readers, and we

hope you remember us in your prayers.

Your loving brother

‘Abdul-Malik Mujahid

Darussalam Publishers

Riyadh - Saudi Arabia August 2008

Contents - 002

Publisher’s Foreword

Introduction

1. They did not benefit

2. What are we going to learn?

3. Why do we search for skills?

4. Improve yourself

5. Do not cry over spilt milk

6. Be unique

7. Who is the most beloved to you?

8. Enjoy the skills

9. With the poor

10. With women

11. With children...

12. With slaves and servants

13. With adversaries

14. With animals

15. A hundred ways to win people’s hearts

16. Purify your intention for the sake of Allah

17. Use the right flavour

18. Choose the right topics

19. Be kind at the first meeting

20. People are like the minerals of the earth

21. Mu’awiyah’s hair

22. The keys to hearts

23. Taking one’s psychologicalcondition...

24. Be concerned about others

25. Show them that you want the best...

26. Remember names

27. Be observant and complimentary

28. Only pass comment on what is good

29. Do not interfere in matters that...

30. How to deal with a meddlesome person

31. Do not criticise!

32. Do not be dictatorial

33. Hold the stick from the middle

34. Make it easy to rectify a fault

35. The other opinion

36. Respond to mistreatment with kindness

37. Convince him of his error so he may....

38. Do not criticise me! End of story?

39. Verify the fault before criticising

40. Whip me gently!

41. Run away from problems!

42. Admit your faults and do not be arrogant…

43. The keys to mistakes…

44. Untie the bundle

45. Self torture

46. Problems with no solutions

47. Do not kill yourself by grief

48. Be content with what Allah has apportioned...

49. Be a mountain

50. Do not curse him because he drinks alcohol!

51. If what you desire does not happen,....

52. We can disagree and still be brothers!

53. Gentleness only beautifies

54. Between the living and the dead

55. Make your tongue sweet

56. Be concise and do not argue

57. Do not care about what people say

58. Smile and keep smiling

59. The red lines

60. Keeping a secret

61. Fulfilling people’s needs

62. Do not burden yourself with what you....

63. Who kicked the cat?

64. Humbleness

65. To worship in secret

66. Take them out of the ditch

67. Looking after one’s appearance

68. Honesty

69. Bravery

70. Steadiness on principles

71. Temptations

72. Forgiving others

73. Generosity

74. Restraining oneself from harming others

75. Do not gain enemies

76. The tongue is king

77. Control your tongue

78. The key

79. The emotional bank balance

80. The magician

81. Help by your speech if you cannot do so...

82. Supplications

83. Patching up

84. Look with both eyes

85. The art of listening

86. The art of discussion

87. Block the escape routes of the detractors

88. Wait and do not interrupt!

89. Charity before consultation

90. It is not important to always be successful

91. Be brave and start from now!

Enjoy Your Life - 001

Enjoy You Life

Compiled By

Dr.Muhammad 'Abd Al-Rahman Al-'Arifi

Translated By
Saleem Beg

Edited By
Nasim Chowdhury

Darussalam
Global Leader In Islamic Books

Kalamullah.com

Friday, 20 August 2010

Enjoy Your Life: Introduction

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته


Every one of us like to be loved and respected. When other people show love or respect towards us we become happy. There are many books to know how to earn love and respect of people and I have read some of them and there are also many books regarding how to lead a
successful life, I also tried some of those books. But what I noted when I read those books is that actually our Holy Qura'n has got all the methods to be a successfull loving person but by the plays of Shaithan as he don't want us to be a good Muslim and a good human he took us away from Qur'an and made up our minds to have a great attachment to this place called earth. He played his game so well that he's almost succeeding in it and increasing the number of his preys.
But we still got chance to change things for that all we need is too understand ourselves and acquire the knowledge. We almost forgot about the Qur'an and our beloved Prophet who brought peace in the whole world, who changed a whole community. And made them so good that people started to learn from them and love them and eventually accepted Islam. But as time pased even the Muslims forgot about the ways of our Prophet, who din't use His sword without a reason, Who never used sword for the spread of religion. He was the best of all Human born on earth. Now we wont have a great leader better than him.
Qur'an is the book for the whole world and lets teach the world that and show it to them.
Lets not wait anymore its time.I am starting with the book written by Dr.Muhammad 'Abd Al -Rahman Al-'Arfi which got a heading Enjoy Your Life (The Art Of Interacting With People...As Deduced From Study Of Prophet's Life).
I started reading it and I am on my way to become a better Human being, a better son, a better student, a better friend, a better relative, etc. I would like you to accompany me on this journey to be a better Human being and also call you friend to accompany you. Lets make a change.(Insha-Allah)

May Allah Guide Us All In The Straight Path The Path Of Those On Whom He Had Bestowed His Grace Not The Path Of Those Who Earned His Anger, Not Of Those Who Go Astray
Ameen

May Allah guide us and bless us with the TRUE understanding of His Deen. Ameen.

Rasulullah(saw) said , "The best of charity is a Muslim who learns a knowledge and later teaches it to his Muslim brothers."